Why Your Team Isn’t Speaking Up and What to Do About It
When Brilliant Teams Stop Thinking
I’ve been in meetings where everyone just looks at the boss for direction. No one else on the working level speaks, no one suggests alternatives, no one asks questions. The boss gives their view, makes a decision, and the rest of us just nod. Meeting done, the boss has spoken, problem “solved.”
But inside, I was screaming. Why are we doing this? There’s a better way. Yet I stayed silent. I told myself, I’m just a junior engineer. Don’t challenge. Don’t look stupid. Everyone else was agreeing too, so I complied. The room was full of brains, but only one brain decided.
That’s the trap: the responsibility rests on a few decision makers, while everyone else goes with the flow. In that silence, blind spots remain hidden, zero innovation. That silence is the absence of psychological safety.
The Family Dinner Table Problem
Team meetings can be like family dinners where only 'Dad' gets to talk. The rest of the family sits quietly, nods along, maybe checks out. Eventually, they stop bringing their ideas to the table at all. That’s exactly what happens when psychological safety is missing. People stop contributing because the cost of speaking up feels too high.
At the end of one meeting, I tried something different, I said, “Some of you may need time to think. If you have ideas later, let me know.” And sure enough, an engineer pulled me aside afterward. He hadn’t dared to speak in front of the group, but his idea was great. We worked out a plan to take his idea forward.
That moment taught me that psychological safety doesn’t always happen at the table. It can start in small invitations outside the room.
The Voice That Saves Projects
I still remember a brainstorming session years ago. A senior engineer threw out what sounded like a “stupid” question: “What if we did it this way?” My first thought was, That’s crazy. But it shifted the whole conversation. Suddenly, the team started looking at the problem differently. That “stupid” question ended up opening the door to a smarter solution.
That engineer became a role model for me. She showed me what it looks like to create psychological safety by going first. By showing that curiosity and vulnerability are not weaknesses but catalysts for innovation.
The opposite could also happen, where an engineer who stayed quiet because last time they spoke up, they were brushed aside. Their insight could have saved weeks, maybe months, but it never surfaced. By the time the issue showed up on site, it was too late. That’s the cost of poor psychological safety: risks remain hidden until they explode.
This Week’s Reality Check
Think about your last 3 design meetings:
Who spoke up? Was it always the same senior voices?
Did anyone build on someone else’s idea, or did people just present their own and stop there?
How did the room react when something unconventional was suggested?
Silence is not nothing. Silence is data. If your team is quiet, it’s not because they have nothing to say. It’s because they don’t feel safe to say it.
Leading People and Delivering Projects: The Psychological Safety Link
Here’s what I’ve learned: you’re not choosing between delivering projects and leading people. You can’t deliver complex projects without the people and diversity of ideas and voices.
Psychological safety is key to unlock smarter solutions, catch risks earlier, and one of the pillars to retaining talent.
This Week’s Experiment: The “Crazy Idea or Question” Challenge
In your next design meeting, once the main solution is on the table, ask: “Does anyone have a crazy idea or question to raise about this?” Then pause. Give it 10 seconds of silence. See what surfaces.
It takes 30 seconds. And it might unlock the idea that saves you weeks, build trust, and makes your team want to stay.